April Fool’s Day – Rehash
Posted April 2, 2010on:
From Gaia to the users:
Gaia intentionally broke the April Fool’s event for April Fool’s day. We served up a broken billboard on the homepage that lead to an error page, a fake What’s Hot banner that lead to nothing, broken header, crazy announcements, and a new item that didn’t work (until later). That’s a lot of broken-ness!
We also launched an April Fool’s Jokes forum so everyone could share cool jokes and pranks that they found online, as well as discuss pranks that they pulled on others or vice versa.
Before lunch time, there was some random cubicle trashing. We think it was done by ninjas, but we’re not sure.
Around 2:00pm, the entire Staff received the following email:
Sorry for the spam, but I forgot my keycard and managed to trap myself in the area behind the back doors of the freight elevator. I was just going back there for a quick break but didn’t realize I wouldn’t be able to get out. If anyone could help, I’d appreciate it.
Sent from my iPhone
Many messages were sent by a variety of concerned Staffers and then 20 minutes later, we received this update:
I climbed above the ceiling tiles to get out but now I’m trapped in the server room. I have to pee really bad, so please don’t blame me for what happens next.
Sent from my iPhone
We still don’t know if this Staffer was ever rescued or if he peed in the server room. We do hope he’s doing alright though!
At 5:15pm, the entire Staff received the following very disgruntled email:
As some of you may know, today is my last day at Gaia. I just wanted to thank everyone for nine great months at a fun, fast-paced company where I learned a lot and met a lot of great people.
NOT!!! Good riddance, Gaia Online. None of you ever bothered to talk to me this whole time. NOT ONCE! In the lunch line, people would just kind of stare through me like I wasn’t there. I was lucky to even get a nod in the hallway from people on my own team. I tried talking to Fin one time and he literally pretended to be on the phone (he wasn’t even holding a phone).
So what’s the deal? Do I smell? Am I invisible?
Nah, it can’t be because I smell. I sat by wondersloth for four months, and his wicked Cool Ranch Doritos odor never seemed to stop his dumb jock friends from coming by and guffawing about stupid crap while I was trying to code. I asked parasurama to be moved, so he put me by ramoneguru. Yeah, BIG IMPROVEMENT in the smell department, boy howdy.
So I guess it means I must be invisible, right? Well, hey, I guess it has its advantages. When you’re invisible, you hear a lot of fun things that people say right next to you like you’re not even around. Like, for example, did you know Fleep steals office supplies and then brags about it to his lunkhead brother like he just pulled off a big Oceans Eleven heist? Did you know futurelevel brags to wondersloth about going to the fridge after hours and taking home whole 12-packs of Corona? Or that he “accidentally” started a fire in the office and spent a weekend trying to cover it up? Huh?
Oh, and did you know Ling is pretty much drunk 24/7??? Did you know CP has actually been working for Zynga for like six months, like out of the Gaia office??? Did you know that Fin almost went to prison during the Martha Stewart thing a few years ago, then covered it up??? FUNNY HOW THIS INFORMATION HAS A WAY OF COMING OUT IN THE END!!!!!
And yet I’M the one getting fired? HELLOOOO!?? Because things “just aren’t working out”? HORSE HOCKEY!!!
So basically, screw you all. Don’t bother asking me for recommendations on LinkedIn. I already got a job lined up at Friendster. EAT MY DUST!!!!!!
PETE LOAM OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Note: Pete Loam doesn’t have a username because he doesn’t actually exist. At least, not at Gaia. And for the record, this is all fiction and lies!!